Reading Body Language in Depth

By Robert Torrey

Body Language can tell you a lot about what is happening in a relationship in so many ways. Is somebody feeling distant, having second thoughts, or are they going to go home, rip off all your clothes, and make wild, passionate love to you as soon as you close the front door.

The clues are in the body language of your partner.

Let’s take just walking to a destination for an example.

Things that say you are in sync are great. You are walking in about the same pace, side by side. Holding hands is another positive. If you go to look at your partner and admire them, they should automatically return the admiration. There is a process known as mirroring in psychology and NLP which stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. NLP goes as far to say you should copy the person’s mannerisms and body language to get more in rapport with a person. This shouldn’t be necessary as if you are connecting well you and your partner should be in sync already. There have even been studies that say heart rates get similar.

Warning signs for walking exist when couples aren’t in rapport. If somebody walks far ahead or behind they both have meanings. Far ahead would mean they just wish to lead and get away from their partner. Somebody who walks far behind could be scared of their partner and feel intimidated by them.

If your partner crosses the street and gives absolutely no verbal or non-verbal signals, it is also a negative sign.

Now sitting is another example that can be used. Look at a pair of newlyweds. You’ll see a lot of times they sit next to each other in booths at a restaurant, not across from one another. They tend to remain close to each other no matter what. A family with a close mother and father do the same thing even when kids are involved. A partner I’m dating might even sit sideways facing me in a car when they are really into me.

Couples with good body language will take the time to connect all the time. The will face towards one another and when distractions stop will reengage each other in connecting. This can be done with kissing, holding hands, eye contact, or conversation. Their bodies should be angled towards each other and physical contact is done quite often. Another sign in a restaurant is both of the couples are eating in proportion to each other.

Negative signs are when somebody doesn’t connect during breaks. They instead read a menu again, look out the window, play with their purse or engage everybody but the person they are with. Their bodies are probably angled away from each other and physical contact is minimal. If somebody is eating a lot of their meal and the other is hardly touching their plate, something is going on. The person hardly touching their plate is probably bothered by something.

Making Love
When a couple is in sync, they connect on a much deeper level than just physical. There should be a strong mental aspect. Eye contact is one of the biggest things: both partners should be able to freely look into each other’s eyes during sex. Touching, holding, and kissing are usually all natural occurrences that happen during lovemaking. A clasp of the hands with your partner, eye contact and others signal a much deeper connection. Partners should be willing to give pleasure as well as receive pleasure.

Some warning signs could be closed eyes or a stiffness in the shoulders and neck. These signal coldness, anxiety.

Be aware of the nonverbal communicate you have with your mate. There was a research study done by a psychologist known as Albert Mehrabian. His findings were it’s not what you say but how you say it that really matters. Verbal communication only accounts for 7% of the total communication we communicate.

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