by Michelle Monkou

You want to become a romance writer. The determination announced itself sometime between birth and after reading a romance novel. You begin writing, feeling like a professional after typing CHAPTER ONE on the first page. Visions of adoring fans lined up at mega-sized bookstores dance around in your imagination. Maybe, you are sitting on stage in an auditorium filled with earnest writers waiting for the crumbs of knowledge to drop from your lips. Then there is the all-time favorite fantasy where you are at your writing retreat, whether atop the craggy cliffs of a European seaside or surrounded by the sounds of the tropical birds on your Caribbean island. Writing cannot exist on fantasy alone.

The craft cannot survive on sheer determination. There has to be respect for the power of storytelling that translates into discipline, which then becomes your second skin. Where to go? How to get there? Questions posed many times to experienced authors with no one answer alike. Yet, the key to success eludes you. Writing turns into a declaration of war between yourself and yourself. Priorities tangle for the top rung. Obligations pound on your conscience. Commitments threaten to suck you under until the essence of your life moves onto another plane of existence. On a thin thread of tenacity, you still say that you want to become a writer. Your once bold declaration now slightly weakened and battered spikes and dives, riding your emotional rollercoaster.

First things first, clean out the excess baggage. Purge yourself of other writers’ fantasies, successes, goals, and work habits. You are in a constant state of learning, therefore, you are a sponge soaking up the good, the bad, and yes, even the ugly. The concoction churns into a goopy mess with no clear lesson to be learned. Close your eyes. Calm your thoughts (soothing music may achieve this state). Picture an ocean with the waves rolling towards the shore and then receding back into the ocean. Watch and feel that rhythm. One by one, release each fear or doubt hampering your ability to write. Let that wave take it out and away from you. Once you have purged, recommit to your goal. Write it down on paper. Treat this recommitment like nourishment for the soul. Every day, you eat. Then every day, you recommit. Whether in the morning hours or an hour before sleeping at night, purge the fears and recommit to the goal.

Second phase begins with an honest assessment of your commitment level. How much time do you have to write? When can you write? Where can you write? Only you can answer these questions. Only you can determine the ranking of your commitment. Only you can reap the rewards or, on the other hand, the consequences of your selection. However, just because you ranked your priorities, this does not constitute a seal for all eternity. Periodically, shuffle your “to do” list to accommodate your life. Guilty feelings will creep in, but keep a handle on the difference between what would be nice to do and what has to be done.

Finally, the last step in your raised consciousness is also the biggest test and may seem to be a contradiction to Step One. Go ahead and listen to the motivational tapes, attend workshops, and glean from your favorite authors. Remember you are in a perpetual state of learning. BUT, instead of listening and placing yourself in the speaker’s shoes, sift through her advice for the underlying message. In the best of times, you would not wear someone’s shoes because the heel may be worn down to fit the way she walks; the size may be constricting and narrow or loose; or the color and style leaves you cold. Don’t act like a co-dependent and get wrapped around the messenger, forsaking the message. Instead focus on how she developed her rhythm, how she nurtured her rhythm and how she reconnects to her rhythm, as necessary. Then find your rhythm, a state of mind and discipline uniquely your own. No gold key to success exists for becoming a writer. It is all within you, waiting.

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Michelle Monkou is past president of Washington Romance Writers.